Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Thorn in my flesh

Pain worse than a toothache, ten times worse than a leg muscle cramp. Saturday morning I felt a twinge in my back lasting a fraction of a second.  Immediately, my heart sank; I knew this back pain all too well.  On Sunday I was virtually bedridden.  Attempting to roll out of bed without precipitating the back spasms that knock my breath away was my biggest chore of the day.  These spasms left me at the mercies of gravity; my fear of falling straight to the floor kept me hanging on so violently to any piece of furniture that each muscle fiber in my body quivered.  One episode early Sunday morning was so painful that I started to faint (the ringing in the ears, the grayish TV-static-like visual phenomenon that slowly closes in until the whole world turns black), and if it hadn’t been for my husband’s heroic rescue from bathroom to bed I very well may have lost consciousness.  I have been walking like an invalid as each step takes every ounce of my concentration.  But, by God’s grace, I am slowly improving.

This physical ailment comes at an opportune time, a time in which I can reflect on my mortality, my humanity, and the precious frailty of life and health.  What is life if there is no health?  What use would I be if I had traveled all the way to Africa and then had some health issue abruptly put an end to all my plans and dreams? 

Many of us take our health for granted, especially when we are young and without major physical maladies.  I would always take pride in reporting to my primary doctor, “I have no past medical history, no surgeries, no hospitalizations, no known drug allergies, no history of tobacco/alcohol/drug use, no medications….” As if I would forever be sheltered from common ailments that plague mankind.  But this episode has been a poignant reminder that we must not take our health lightly.  It is not enough to claim a certain lifestyle (vegetarian, vegan, or what have you).  We must live each day committed to following all the principles that we know are good: NEW START (Nutrition, exercise, water, sunshine, temperance, air, rest, trust in God). 

Just as the apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh, may this pain in my back be a reminder to me of my impotence and of His ultimate power

6 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about this. I know how it feels to feel so helpless... and yes, it does remind us how frail life is. I know I don't take that for granted, 'cause you know unlike you I have a bit more medical history :) Take care, and I know God will watch over you. Love ya!

    your FAVORITE cousin, hehe!

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  2. Well said Janie! I absolutely love and admire your attitude of the situation, but realize that it is not easy. I'm rally sorry to hear about your back...I hope you recover quickly!

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  3. will pray for a speedy recovery for you janie...it must be hard to be in pain in a completely different environment....

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  4. oh dear...hope you are feeling better now janie! yes, it's so true how frail we humans are! if we have health, we should be grateful every moment of our lives. it's a gift. miss you guys!

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  5. hey grace, fred, amy, and eunis!!! thanks so much for your concern. i'm sooo much better now after going through a few sessions of "Physiotherapy." i'm not quite sure if the infrared, "short wave," and interferometry treatments really were the cause for my dramatic improvement, but the massage at the end certainly felt good. =) miss you all.

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  6. oh no! i was so sorry to read this. you approached everything with courage and a positive attitude. glad to read that you're doing better tho. thinking about you and Paul. will be praying for you as well. hugs to you both.

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